This post is my humble contribution to Spoof Jenkins Monday, which you can read all about here, and follow on twitter under #spoofjenks - it doesn't even come close to some of the others, but I thought I'd add it to the throng, in support of the idea...
Science education? Give me the money, instead! I’ll teach you all you need to know.
Squandering money on science education is just pandering to the science lobbyists: they’ve already insinuated themselves into our esteemed broadcasting corporation, now they want to take away our children, too.
Polluting young minds with the knowledge of what probabilities are, the ability to assess relative risk, or a notion of prevention? Preposterous! Next they’ll be suggesting we raise youngsters who are capable of independent thought, of coming up with explanations for what they see around them and – Heaven forbid! – of testing those explanations. This is a dangerous path to tread. It leads to dark, dark places, where an unfounded rant can be exposed as just that, and ridiculed with impunity, instead of getting the appreciation its author necessarily warrants.
I have been blissfully – even intentionally – ignorant of science all my life, and I’ve never seen the point of it. Why should anyone else? Worse, why should we spend taxpayers’ money to make more people able to understand such drivel? And as for the argument that scientists pay taxes too – that’s irrelevant, and besides, everyone knows they are among the worst tax evaders out there. In fact, the next financial crisis will undoubtedly be all their fault.
After all, let’s not forget the golden rule: it’s OK – just about – to wonder, but never, under any circumstance, to question.